It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
