Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
