so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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