he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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