How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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