Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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