I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
