They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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