Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
this just has baby written all over it
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
So squirting runs in the family.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
