My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
