Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
