He asked to "fluff my boner.."
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
