I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
