Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
