Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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