How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
