thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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