You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
