I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Fuck appropriateness.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize