Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
40s are totally the cure
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
