she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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