Don't you send me to vm
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
