Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
