I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
