just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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