38 yer olds are good kisserssss
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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