he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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