What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
