I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize