I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
