I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Everclear isn't food dammit
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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