did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
this just has baby written all over it
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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