Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
