So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
