You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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