so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize