There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
