hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
