i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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