Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just gargled with NyQuil
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
