i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My vagina just recognized that song.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
