I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
