just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
