Christians are straight up FREAKS
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
