So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
