Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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