you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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