people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
