so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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