can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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