Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
These tits shall not be calmed
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
