I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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