i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
