dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
