i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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