I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
