chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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