she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
