Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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