Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
