I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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